well it was a disappointing day today. I was supposed to go in at 8:00 today , then start 6 tomorrow, but when Dave and I were going over scheduling he informed me that thing had changed and I was to start at 9:30 and go till 6. I asked how long that would go on and he said it was permanant and asked if it was a problem and said ya its a problem there are four other people in the dept and I thought every one should take there turn so he said he would look into something that was a little more fair. Not only that, EVERYONE from my dept left at 2:30 today INCLUDING my supervisor, no what she said to me as she was leaving, Well find yourself something to do. How was I to do that when I don't even know what to find. I'd been there for 6 hours and 4 of it had been in front of a computer doing prerequisite folders. They need a merchandisier on till 6 in case someone needs to find something from the back or a price. WHAT A JOKE!!! I have know idea how to find prices or PRODUCT. So I'm very frustarated tonight. I didn't get home till 7 had to look after the horse and cats, then feed myself something, now its almost time for bed. Just not a good day. Rod did get off to Lomond so I guess that good.

Since this a a journal as well as news I feel like I have to put in this entry.
I watched a movie tonight about a young girl who had been abused by her father. I have been through the counselling and I know in my head that the blame is not on the child. But she asked the same questions I asked, why didn't I say something, why didn't mom know something. Why me?? He told me that he didn't really hurt me, but he not only hurt me but my whole family. I couldn't cope, I went into a deep dark place that I couldn't get out of . It ruined my marriage, hurt my children, I tell myself IF ONLY so many times and also WHY, why couldn't I be born in a good LDS family I love the church and life in the church I wanted so badly to have a mormon family when I was growing up with FHE and the Priesthood and dads who loved their kids and moms who were there for you. What did I do that was so bad that I had to be born into that. I try to remember only the good from when I was little but sometimes its just dark and the bad comes back to haunt you. The drinking, and fighting, the beatings and abuse, you were never allowed to say anything mom would just say it was no ones business and to just keep quiet, I wish so much that I hadn't listened to her. I don't blame her, thats the way she was raised and was all she knew.
I couldn't find all the answers I need with my counsellor or on my own so now I'm looking where I probably should have looked in the first place, in the Gospel, not necessarily the Church, because the church is people, but the Gospel is the love of Christ so I'm searching for answers there.

New day I'm feeling so much better, no wind, just don't say it too loudly. Rods in Sask so I'm gonna work around here probably get some racks and stuff built in the workshop. I started walking again this AM, walked for 1/2 an hour I'm not sure how far just down the road around and back across the field. It felt good Baxter came with me.

Just when I start to think that I really like my home and I can be very happy here, we get a HURRICANE. I can't even open my door because the wind is blowing SO HARD!!! I generally don't mind the wind but this is RIDICULOUS!!
Going back to yesterday. It was really fun Dawn and family came over and we hunted for eggs, and colored eggs and fingernails and ate and played games. I made the boys each a tools belt so Trevor wanted to find screws to do up or undo very fun day. Today Rod is off to Sask again, I thought I'd stay home and get some work done here but since I CAN"T EVEN GET OUTSIDE I'M JUST FRUSTRATED!!!!

I am pretty tired tonight. We built our back deck today. It's 8X8 and looks pretty good. I was going to do alot of burning tonight along the ditches but I'm just too tired. Tomorrow Dawn and family are coming for dinner and We're going to go get Rods mom too. So, we'll have an easter egg hunt here. Dawn brought over a bunch of plastic eggs so I will hide themin the morning then we'll color eggs and paint our finger nails. I'll try to post some pictures

I started volunteering at Hearts Haven Ranch today. It's a new place by Raymond thats gonna give horse riding lessons and needs volunteers to help. So, right now Shes training the volunteers. Most everyone is a teenager, actually everyone but me. 99% of them haven't ridden before. So, I was leading one young lady today, she was bareback, something spooked the horse, she bolted forward a bit and the young lady went off the back onto the ground. Yup, these are the kids who are going to be TEACHING, should be interesting. I'm doing so I can learn so I can teach my grandkids the right way.

well i went through two folders today at UFA one on UFA orientation and the other one WHMIS wrote the tests for both and passed. You have to get 100% on all of these "folders" I have two more to complete the day I start before they will put me on the floor. One on transporation of dangerous goods(tdg) why I have know idea I won't be transporting anything and I'm not sure what the other one is about. Then there are 5 more "folders" that I have to complete in my first week there. Then it's an ongoing learning agenda, the more "folders" or topics you complete the better your reviews will be. But all that brain work has given me a headache that I'm trying to get rid of with Tylenol instead of Excedrin so I can sleep tonight so far it hasn't worked

more summer at the lake

ok here is another picture at the cabin this summer. We're vegging watching TV. Do you have this one Krista? Thanks Krista for removing whatever you helped me remove. No Jenie, the nail stuff is actual paint with little nibs that look like to old fashion pens. A little hard to use at first but I think with practice it'll be very fun . My Horse Maggie isn't feeling very good lately. I'm not sure wahts wrong, but with all the flu going around in people I think maybe thats waht she has too. We're finally getting dried up enough that we started getting the boards put on the side of the barn so I should be able to paint it within the month. Barn red of course.

thanks Krista, now I can put pictures on my blog. This is FUN at the Texas State Fair

getting started

I thought this would be a good way to keep in touch with everyone and also maybe journalize for me. I just talked to Mom Bowlby Scott finally got in touch with them. I can't even imagine having one of my kids not talk to me for years. It was such a heartbreak for mom and dad. I count my blessing everyday that I have such great kids.
I got myself a job. I start at UFA as a merchanizer on March31. I'll be going in before then to write the WIMHS exam and other testing. Rod got a job in Lomond for the summer as a lease rider.
I have to learn how to put pictures on here because I love pictures from all of you. I went to the Home and Garden Trade show and bought a nail decorater kit. It is gonna be so fun I'm taking it over to Dawns so the girls and I can play and decorate our nails.